Learn English Funcast

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Listen to the podcast lesson and read the joke text below:

 

Joke 1:

Life With A Blonde Teenager…

SCENE: My teenage daughter and me in the car.

Lauren: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl’s name is?

Me: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel? (Silence.) Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.

Lauren: You’re no fun, Dad. Forget it.

Me: What is a vowel?

Lauren: OK, OK. A vowel is … ahh … eh … well, oh … uh …

Me: Close enough.

 

Joke 2:

– I bought one of those tapes to teach you Spanish in your sleep.
During the night, the tape skipped. Now I can only stutter in Spanish.

 

Joke 3: 

I’d never had surgery, and I was nervous. “this is a very simple noninvasive procedure
,” the anesthesiologist reassured me. I felt better, untill… “Heck,” he
continued, “you have a better chance of dying from the anesthesia than the surgery itself.”

My three year old daughter suck out her hand and said, “look at the fly I killed,
Mommy” Since she was eating a juicy pickle at the time, I thrust her contaminated hands under the faucet and washed them with antibacterial soap.

After sitting her down to finish her pickle, I asked with a touch of awe, “How
did you kill that fly all by yourself?”
Between bites, she said, “I hit it with my pickle.”