Learn English Funcast

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here are today’s jokes from this podcast. Feel free to follow along while listening to the podcast.

Don’t forget to support the podcast by rating and reviewing it on iTunes or Stitcher.

 

Joke 1:

Paid Compliment

The party’s host paid me a great compliment. “You are a good-looking woman,” he said. “Honest—I’ve had only one beer.”

My glow was only slightly dimmed when my husband interjected, “Imagine how great she’ll look after two.”

Joke 2:
The Mystery Kitchen Utensil…

My collection of vintage kitchen utensils includes one whose intended purpose was always a mystery. It looks like a cross between a metal slotted spoon and a spatula, so I use it as both. When not in use, it is prominently displayed in a decorative ceramic utensil caddy in my kitchen.

The mystery of the spoon/spatula was recently solved when I found one in its original packaging at a rummage sale.

It’s a pooper-scooper.

Joke 3:
How To Translate Work Emails

I have a question.     =     I have 18 questions.

I’ll look into it.     =     I’ve already forgotten about it.

I tried my best.     =     I did the bare minimum.

Happy to discuss further.     =     Don’t ask me about this again.

No worries.     =     You really messed up this time.

Take care.     =     This is the last you’ll ever hear from me.

Cheers!     =     I have no respect for you or myself!