Learn English Funcast

In today’s episode we discuss different names we can call cruise control and a story about a funny mechanic.

Jokes:

Joke 1:

Shortly after I had my car repaired the mechanic who fixed it asked me to bring it back.
I watched as he opened the hood and removed a tool he had left. In a conspiratorial voice I said, “If yo were a surgeon, I’d sue for malpractice.”
“Yeah, but if I was a surgeon,” he replied, “I’d charge you for having to go back in.”

Joke 2:

My family has a tradition of naming the cruise control on our cards. We were used to hearing my father proclaim, “Take it, Max,” as he flipped on the cruise control during long trips in our station wagon. Recently, I was traveling with my parents in their new car when we hit a wide-open expanse of highway. My dad leaned back and said, “I think I’ll let Tom drive for a while.”
“Tom who?” I asked.
My mother translated for me:
“Tom Cruise, of course.”

Joke 3:

My sister Darlene has the courage but not always the skills to tackle any home repair project. For example, in her garage are pieces of a lawn mower she once tried to fix. So I wasn’t surprised the day my other sister, Jesse, and I found Darlene attacking her vacuum cleaner with a screwdriver.

Joke 4:

“I can’t get this thing to cooperate,” she explained.
“why don’t you drag it out to the garage and show it the lawn mower?”
Jesse suggested.